


Cycles

by Wild_Moon



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Kaede Remembers, Kokichi Remembers, Protagonist Akamatsu Kaede, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wild_Moon/pseuds/Wild_Moon
Summary: Running.Over and over again,... Until there's nothing left.Can even the brightest lightBe tainted by frustration and trapped despair?Hehe Timeloop Angst go brrrrrrr-Spoilers for the entire game of V3 inbound!
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Oma Kokichi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 29





	1. Loading 0, Day 5

**Author's Note:**

> Ready for Angst, anyone?  
> Hehehehehehe....  
> TW: Chapter 1 Trial and Execution, Way too many Ellipses

**"Puhuhu..."**

_The laughter echoed in her ears as the voting came to a close. She already knew the results- it would be highly unlikely for her not to be chosen. After all, with Shuichi's final summary of the case, and her own admission of her failure to defeat the mastermind, there was no doubt that she was the guilty party._

**"It seems the voting has finished. Now, then! Let's see the results..."**

_A screen lowered from the ceiling over Monokuma and the Monokubs, and the 15 remaining participants of the Killing Game she had failed to stop tilted their heads back to look. The screen flickered on, revealing a red background, interrupted by the words **"Voting"** in black and **"Results"** in white, reminiscent of the bear who acted as a figurehead for this sadistic, cruel game. It was the moment of truth.  
The results were unanimous, as to be expected. Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Pianist, was about to disappear from this world forever. She sighed, that breath of air acting both in relief and in anxiety. She knew this would happen ever since she learned Rantaro wasn't the mastermind, but it didn't stop her fears from nearly taking over. The urge to run was strong, but she stood her ground. No use running from the now-inevitable._

**"Well, at this point it goes without saying, but you all voted correctly!"**

_Monokuma's voice was certainly not helping her nerves at all.  
_

**"The Blackened who killed Rantaro Amami is the Ultimate Pianist, Kaede Akamatsu!"**

_'We knew this already...' Her stomach twisted as she thought about it more. Rantaro was dead, and it was all her fault. Even so....  
_"... Good..." _She found herself murmuring, relief still combating the fear in her heart._

"Wh-What...? Good??" _Kaito was first to speak._ "What do you mean, good!? Is this how you want it to end!?"

 _'NO!' Her racing heart choked out, nearly breaking free of the calmness she had been trying to keep. Sighing, she replied._ "Not really, but..." _She looked away for a moment, before facing them all again._ "It could've turned out a lot worse. So this is fine, too..." _'Please, for the love of everything, don't have Kokichi assume I'm lying just because I'm scared...'_

"I-It's not fine!!" _Tenko cried out, tears streaming down her face._ "This is- super horrible! The- The worst ever!!" _Sobs broke into Tenko's words, mirroring the way the Blackened's heart felt._

"Yeah..." _Tsumugi's voice, quiet just like her tears, added._ "How did it come to this...?" _The cosplayer was calmer than the others, but her tearstained words still pierced into the Blackened's heart, trying to chip away at her resolve._

_Her throat choked up, unable to speak. And even if she could, were there even any words she could use to help soothe her friends?_

_Kiibo's voice chimed in._ "Kaede, what would possess you to do something like this?" _He wasn't crying, but unease showed on his face, and the words on the display around his neck clearly said **"Why..?"**_

"Gonta no can accept this... Not unless you explain..." _Gonta spoke next, tears openly pouring out and landing on the floor, splashing like raindrops._

"Yeah.... I.. I won't be satisfied... Until I hear it straight from you," _Kaito added, wiping tears off his face as he spoke._

 _As the Blackened struggled to find her words again, her gaze flickered up to her closest friend in all of this mess, Shuichi Saihara. He was barely keeping more tears from falling from his eyelashes, the trails of previous teardrops still glistening on his face._ "K-Kaede, please..." _He said, his voice wavering as he spoke._

 _How could she say no to them..? Gathering what remained of her strength and courage, she answered._ "... Okay... Please allow me a few moments of your time, then..." _How she wasn't breaking down into tears yet, she had no idea, but she was vaguely glad for it._ "It's just like Shuichi said... I was after the mastermind this entire time..." _Was there even a mastermind? What Shuichi had said about the door made sense, but..._ "I wanted to kill the mastermind, and I thought doing that would end the Killing Game..." _She wondered if one day she'd be laughed at for her foolishness..._

 _Shuichi's voice broke into her train of thought._ "But why did you try to kill them? Maybe they could've been captured..." _He had blinked the tears away and, while he was still obviously distressed, he seemed to be in detective mode. 'Good...'_

"If it hadn't been for the time limit, I probably would've done that..." _She explained with a sigh._ "But the time limit meant that capturing the mastermind was less likely to work, y'know? Cuz the mastermind could've just played dumb to run out the clock and kill us all..." _But what if she was wrong, and the mastermind would've complied with answering their questions and ending the game...?_ "I... was worried about that happening."

"So you sought to kill the mastermind, instead?" _A cool voice, belonging to Korekiyo, questioned. He hadn't cried, but the look on his face showed a hint of hidden sadness._

"I had made up my mind just before we set up the cameras in the library..." _Her forced mask of calm broke as she looked at them, the memory of how she did what she did returning to the front of her mind._ "I thought it was my last chance to save everyone...." _'What a botched plan that was...'_ "I couldn't let that chance pass me by. I had to save everyone, no matter what."

"Even if you had to kill someone?" _Kokichi asked, staring directly at her. She couldn't see any trace of sadness on his face as he spoke..._

 _The words broke into the Blackened's mind. 'Even if you could've ended up killing an innocent classmate?' Forcing her fears down as far as they can go, she replied._ "That's right... I thought that killing the mastermind was our best shot at escaping this place together...." _Tears stung at the corners of her eyes, and she couldn't stop herself from crying._ "I... really believed it, too..."

"Kaede...." _Shuichi began his attempt to comfort her, but Kokichi's words struck first._ "Oh, Kaede... It never dawned on you?" _He smiled._ "As soon as that thought entered your head, Monokuma had you right where he wanted." _The others turned their gazes towards the boy as he continued._ "Because what mattered most to Monokuma is that the Killing Game started." _The Blackened, seeing the truth in his words, had to keep herself from shaking._ "Regardless of your reasons, the moment you felt the urge to kill, you had already lost. You agreed to be part of this Killing Game when you allowed murder to fill your heart."

"W-Wait... To put it like that..." _Tsumugi's hesitant voice chimed in, wiping the tears off her face._

"But... he's not wrong..." _Miu interjected, looking away with gritted teeth. The Blackened could see a hint of sadness in the girl's face, mixed with frustration._ "She's the reason the Killing Game finally started..."

"B-But... If Kaede hadn't done anything, we'd all be dead by now..." _Tenko shot back, her voice still slightly shaky._

"Kaede save everyone..." _Gonta added, tears still raining down his face, albeit at a much slower pace than before._ "We no can blame her."

 _Kokichi, who seemed to be getting increasingly upset with each person's contributions, suddenly snapped._ "I know! You don't need to remind me!" _Tears poured down his face like floodgates have been opened, as he angrily continued._ "That's why I'm so... pissed off! Pissed off at myself for being so... so useless!"

 _The Blackened's mouth went dry. Did he... really feel that way..? Before she could say anything, Shuichi spoke again, looking directly at Kokichi._ "Kokichi... That's enough. I can see through your act."

 _After a moment of checking to see if Shuichi would back off, Kokichi grinned, wiping his tears away before putting both hands behind his head._ "...Whoops. That obvious, huh?" _'... I don't think that was all a lie, though...'_

 _Regardless..._ "But... Kokichi is right... I was being played..." _Guilt tore at her heart as she continued._ "And I didn't even kill the mastermind. I killed one of our dear friends, instead..." _Rantaro was dead. It was all her fault. Rantaro was dead. He wouldn't ever see them escape. He tried to help, and he was dead. And it was all her fault._ "What I did was so terrible... so... unforgivable..." _More tears streamed down her face..._ "I took an innocent life! I'm nothing but a h-horrible murderer!" _She was openly sobbing by now, trying not to choke on her own tears._ "Y-You should all h-hate... bla-ame, a-and be disgus-sted by m-me!"

 _Shuichi reached out, concern obvious in his eyes as he spoke._ "Kaede, please calm down!"

 _Taking several moments to calm down, she cleared her throat and continued._ "... After we found Rantaro's body, when I realized he wasn't the mastermind..." _The memory replayed in her mind, the horror she felt when she realized what she just did..._ "I thought... about ending this by confessing to you all... what I had done..." _Another memory, of Monokuma's first motive, entered the front of her mind._ "... But I couldn't. Because... of Monokuma's First Blood Perk."

 _Ryoma, who had listened quietly most of the time, spoke up._ "I see... If you confessed then and there, you would've been able to leave." _Sadness showed in his eyes._ "But you decided you couldn't leave this place by yourself, so you kept quiet."

"Because of the First Blood Perk, you were forced to hide the truth from us," _Kirumi added, her tone somewhat melancholy compared to her usual._

 _The Blackened nodded, tears still pouring down her face._ "Yeah, that's right..."

"So the First Blood Perk worked against the Blackened rather than for them..." _Korekiyo remarked calmly._

 _This wasn't entirely true... That wasn't the full reason._ "But, at the same time, I thought..." _Composing her thoughts into words, she spoke._ "If I did this for everyone, then instead of making things easier by confessing...... I thought I should lie to you all, so it would motivate you to keep moving forward."

 _Thinking about it for a moment, Shuichi asked a question._ "Is that the reason for the trial? To reveal the mastermind?"

 _She nodded in reply._ "I felt like if I didn't do this, then Rantaro's death would have been meaningless." _'But I failed to reveal the mastermind... So it was all for nothing...'_

 _Kiibo, his display reading **"Hmmm..."** , spoke up. _"We were searching for both the culprit and the mastermind during this class trial."

 _Noticing the connection, Angie added,_ "Ah, Kaede did mention that!"

 _The group all nodded, remembering Kaede's words. She nodded, too, before saying,_ "I never wanted to keep my crime a secret... I was going to tell you all eventually... But before I did, I wanted to expose the mastermind first..." _She wiped the tears from her eyes as she continued._ "Then the Killing Game would've ended, and everyone but me would've been saved..." _'Except Rantaro would've been left behind alongside me...' she thought, wincing internally as she started crying again._ "I thought that was the best way I could atone for killing Rantaro..."

 _Tears stung at the corners of Shuichi's eyes as he spoke._ "... This is my fault. I was wrong... There... There was no mastermind..."

"You were wrong..? But didn't you say that the mastermind was one of us?" _Tsumugi asked nervously._

 _Shuichi shook his head in response._ "That's what I thought at first.... But in the end, we have nothing." _The Blackened watched him sadly as he continued._ "No one made any moves at the time limit, the trial was useless..."

"Even when Shuichi was about to be voted as the Blackened... Still, they did not appear," _Korekiyo added._

"Yeesh, that seriously was a close one," _Kokichi piped up._ "If Kaede had just kept her mouth shut, we'd all be dead right now. On the other hand, she's only in this mess cuz she decided to say something at that moment."

 _'At least they'll survive...' The Blackened thought, as Shuichi spoke once more._ "I wanted to protect Kaede, but I also wanted to unmask the mastermind. But even when the killer was about to be condemned, they remained hidden. That..." _He sighed, before finishing._ "That has to mean that the mastermind is not among us after all..."

"So Kaede had the wrong idea the whole time..." _Kaito said, surprise apparent._

"All her actions were taken under Shuichi's flawed logic..." _Korekiyo added calmly. '.... But...'_

 _Shuichi nodded._ "That's why this is my fault. All of this happened because my detective work was wrong." _'... What about the door?'_ "If I hadn't been so stupid... If I never said anything about a mastermind to Kaede...." _The Blackened's teary eyes widened as Shuichi began crying again, too._ "... Rantaro wouldn't have died, and Kaede wouldn't be a murderer!" _'If there really was no mastermind...'_ "This is all my fault!" _'... Wouldn't the hidden door be smaller, or not exist at all?'_

"No, it's not," _she said_ _firmly, looking directly at Shuichi._

"...K-Kaede....?" _Shuichi seemed surprised, tear-filled eyes looking up at her._

"I killed him... Not you," _she added, smiling sadly through her tears._ ".... Right? Didn't I?" _She didn't have any other way to comfort him... 'If only there was a piano here...'_

 _Shuichi had no response, so Kiibo piped up._ "But, Kaede, why did you set such a convoluted trap? If your intent was to kill the mastermind, there was no reason for you to cover your tracks." _There was wording on the display, but her tears were distorting her vision and making it too hard to read._

"Isn't it obvious?" _Kaito replied._ "It's because... she didn't want Shuichi to know."

 _Shuichi's surprised "Me..?" was quickly followed by the Blackened nodding and answering,_ "Of course, but... I didn't want everyone else to know, either..." _She sighed._ "Because... I said I wanted to escape this place with everyone. But you guys wouldn't want to be friends with a girl who killed someone, would you?" _'No one would...'_

"Be... friends?" _Gonta echoed, tears still raining onto the ground from his face._

"Kaede..." _Tenko began, sniffing as she cried._ "... p-put a lot of thought i-into this..."

"She put so much thought into this, it drove her to commit murder like a lunatic," _Kokichi interjected bluntly._

 _Miu glared at the short boy for a moment, before turning her gaze to Kaede._ "God, you're such a dumbass," _she muttered._

 _The Blackened sighed, nodding._ "I know, right? I'm such an idiot..."

 _Ryoma looked up at her with a piercing glance._ "We only survived the time limit because of that idiocy."

"Y-Yes! We still alive thanks to you!" _Gonta added, still crying._

 _Tears streaming down his face, Shuichi spoke._ "Kaede.... I didn't know how, but... I wanted to get out of here with you..." _His voice quavered and broke._ "I wanted... to be friends..."

 _Crying as well, the Blackened replied with,_ "I'm so sorry..." _'If only there was another way I could end this game... so they can at least be free....'_

 _Kaito closed his eyes._ "So you're saying... Everything you did was because you were thinking of us..?" _He seemed to be holding back tears..._ "And you hid that you killed him just to stay and help us..? How did things-"

_Before he could finish, Monokuma stood up._

**"Alright, alright! That's it!"**

_The Blackened froze up. The other students began questioning the bear, but she couldn't hear them while she stayed quiet. She knew what was to happen next. No amount of conversation could stop it from happening, after all. She killed Rantaro, so consequences were due. She failed to kill the mastermind and end the Killing Game, and now she was to pay the price. The Monokubs were speaking as well, but she couldn't hear them, either. She could barely even hear Monokuma's next words._

**"..... We can't let this boring display grind the action down to a halt, sooo.... time to make things interesting."**

"Make things.... interesting?" _Shock filled Shuichi's eyes as he echoed Monokuma's words._

**"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Punishment Time!"**

_She knew it. The other students started to protest, but she knew that wouldn't stop them. The Exisals appeared, and her heartbeat quickened with fear. Not for herself, since she knew already she would not leave this place, but for the others. The others began preparing themselves for battle, but she couldn't allow that. They'd all die if she didn't do something, but what could she do? Something had to stop them.... Shuichi even asked to help fight... She couldn't allow them to die!_

"EVERYONE, STOP!!! Please... stop."

_She had no idea how she could get the words out, and at such a high volume, too, but she did, and despite her sobbing and shaking, she was glad she managed it._

"But... Kaede..." _Shuichi, stunned by the raised voice, turned to look at her with teary eyes._

 _She simply shook her head, trying to calm down enough to get the words out._ "Enough... you g-guys.. I've... a-already prepared myself..." _She smiled, despite knowing she was lying again. Never could she be prepared for death..._

 _Shuichi gazed at her for a moment, before asking,_ "... You're... giving up? But... why? You said... you'd never give up... That we'd get out of here together... That's what you said, Kaede.." _The tears in his eyes grew heavy and fell, streaming down his face once more as his anguished voice continued._ "So why are you giving up now!? Did you mean what you said!? I know we can do something! Don't give up until the end!"

 _She closed her eyes, still calming down._ "I'm not giving up... Because I have you." _At Shuichi's response of "What?", she continued._ "Even after I'm gone... my wish will still be here." _She turned to look at everyone else._ "So I'm counting on you all! I'm entrusting my wish to every one of you!" _Tears continued pouring down her face as she kept speaking._ "I believe in you! I believe that you all will make it through this, somehow!" _She was shaking again, but she refused to stop._ "You guys better live! Don't go dying on me now! End this ridiculous Killing Game, survive, and get the hell out of this place!" _Still shaking, she smiled as she finished her speech._ "And then... Be friends after you escape, okay? I think you'll all be the best of friends."

 _For a moment, silence met her words. Kiibo was the first to speak up, display reading **"Another amazing speech..."**_ "... Affirmative, Kaede."

_The others spoke one after another, each in agreement. Save for Kokichi, but "You weren't boring." was probably the most truthful thing she could get from him._

**"Now, then... Let's get started."**

_'It's time, now....'_

**"I have a very special punishment planned for the Ultimate Pianist, Kaede Akamatsu!"**

"W-Wait! Wait a second!" _Shuichi blurted out._ "Kaede, please, don't..."

 _She knew there was no way she'd get out of here. But what she did know..._ "Shuichi, you better not lose." _... was that he could._ "You can't lose to this Killing Game! I know you can beat it!"

**"Let's give it everything we've got! Iiiiiiiit's PUNISHMENT TIME!"**

_She had no time left. She had to make sure they knew._ "I believe in you guys! So please, believe in yourself!" _She yelled, before smiling at them and letting some of her last tears fall to the floor._ "... Okay? It's a promise."

_And then the button was pressed, and a foreboding chime, similar to a video game, played. **"Kaede has been found guilty. Time for the punishment!"**_

_Before she knew it, a cold metallic collar clasped itself around her neck and jerked her upwards. She couldn't breath... Shuichi shouted her name and reached out to try and bring her back to the ground, but it was too late. She was already being pulled up towards who-knows-where. Before the odd trapdoor closed, she could see the others turning toward some stairs that were appearing from almost nowhere. Were they going to watch her die? Oh, no...  
_ _Suddenly, the rope pulling her up slacked, and she fell. Her stomach turned as she looked down at the confusing mass of black and white that she was going too fast to understand what it was and- Do...  
Was that... a piano key? Was she on a giant piano? Oh, no, no...... She regretted wishing there was a piano. She looked out at the crowd and went pale at the horde of sinisterly-smirking monochrome bears, watching her every move. The real one stood in front of her as a conductor... Strange, she didn't think a piano by itself would need a conductor, just someone to play it. A big one would probably need a conductor, because no one could reach all the keys, but then where would the players of this piano be?  
The conductor lifted his h-paws, and suddenly Kaede was being lifted up again, just so she could barely reach the keys. It was hard to breathe, and blood was rushing in her ears. She couldn't tell if the others were climbing up the stairs, or if they were at the top already. Tears blurred her vision, and all of a sudden she was moving. Oh.  
Pain, a note, an ounce of relief, then pain again, all in rapid succession. This cycle repeated again and again and again, quickly turning into an entire song... One she knew quite well. Der Flohwaltzer, one of the first full songs she learned. Except it was wrong. Why were only the white keys being played? Why was the timing off? Why was she being forced to play this wrong? She couldn't breathe, save for when her feet landed on a key. The song was being played wrong. The crowd was jeering. Tears streamed down her face. Why the white keys? A sharp rock scratched her arm. Was that a scream? Stop playing the song wrong. Another scream. Stop screaming. Stop jeering. Don't stare. Help. She couldn't reach the black keys to play the song right. The timing was off anyway. Another rock hit the key next to her, causing a sour chord with the timing off just slightly. Why? If only the position of the rope was a little bit closer... But the spikes were there. It was hard to breathe. More rocks. More screams. Pleading. Please help. She couldn't breathe. How long has it been? Another sour chord. Based on the clock shown in the mirror, 15 minutes. Another rock. Was there a time limit? More rocks. If she survived long enough, could she be pardoned? A sour note. No... She killed Rantaro. A scream. Would Monokuma get bored eventually? More jeers. Help. If he got bored, he'd either let her go or just kill her. The white keys. The black keys were still out of reach. She still could hardly breathe. Would she last any longer? More screams. Choking. Are they okay? More rocks. It's a wonder how none of her bones seem to be broken yet. Snap. She thought too soon. She didn't dare look at her fingers. Another scream. More jeers. Angry yelling. Don't get yourselves hurt... She couldn't breathe. She could, for a brief, painful moment. She looked up at the mirror. 1 hour. How long could she survive? More rocks. Another scream. Blood. She was bleeding before, but- Another sour note. Bleeding. Pain. More jeers. Why were the black keys out of reach? She couldn't breathe. More screaming. Has time passed? She tried to look. Another rock. Stars. Why are there stars? Jeers. Blood. Pain. Stars. Screams. More choking. Be careful. Another sour chord. If only the rope would snap. She could escape. She could play the song right. The rope didn't snap. Another rock. More jeering. Another scream. There are so many songs that just use the white keys, so why use them in a song with the just the black keys? What time is it? She looked. 3 hours in. Another rock. Another sour note. Pain. Her fingers hurt. She couldn't breathe. Jeers. Pain. Screaming. Choking. Stop choking. Stop screaming if it means you just cause yourself more pain. More rocks. Pain. Blood. Bruises. She couldn't breathe. Screams. What if Shuichi was the one screaming? Could she get free? Rocks. Could she make sure he was okay? Jeers. Rocks. Pain. How long has it been? Check. A rock. Pain. Stars. Blood. A broken nose. Screams. Choking. Please be okay. She couldn't breathe. Try to play the notes right. Check the clock again. Tears. Pain. Blood. She couldn't breathe. Could she survive until the end? Rocks. Sour notes. Pain. None of it was new. Tears. Blink them away. Check the time. 7 hours. The rope was fraying slightly. Struggle. Pain. A flood of extra rocks. Blood. Stars. Sour notes. Black. White. Black. Black. Screams. Choking. You have to live. Try. Black. Blood. Gray. Tears. Cold. Pain. Black. Cold. Black..._

* * *

_..._

_Gh-!_

_........_

_.... H... Huh...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really inexperienced when it comes to death. And also piano stuff. I know that now, but I hope this was still good lmaoooo
> 
> Stats:  
> Part 1 - Words, 3271. Characters, 18963.  
> Part 2 - Words, 901. Characters, 5049.  
> Part 3 - Words, 3. Characters, 34.  
> Total - Words, 4175. Characters, 24046.


	2. (A/N) Ship Deciding!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So one thing led to another, aaand....

So, uh...

Originally, I began with a basic idea for the ships. I'd have Saimatsu, Oumami, and Kiiruma planned for Cycles, after a bit of discussion on a Discord server I'm in.

But then that same server started making Mugae (my name idea for Tsumugi x Kaede) headcanons, and I was recommended a blog on Tumblr with Kiibouruma as its main. I'm a disastrous multishipper, so that was definitely a problem.

_But then_ , as if this decision couldn't be more complicated for me, the internet decided to yeet more ships into my face. Nursery Rhymes, Oumaede (I had no idea this one was a thing before today), Saimota, Amiibo, and more that my tired self can't even keep up with lmao.

So that's my dilemma. And I want you all kind people that gave me kudos to have a say in this ( ~~totally not because of my self doubt or anything-~~ ), so I've decided to post this and ask for help. What you can do to help is copy, paste, and fill out the below form (or at least send something in a recognizable format) to show what ship you would like to see, and what your reasoning is. Your choice does not have to be one I listed, although some of which haven't been listed for a reason.

I will make sure to make the most popular ships in the comments be friends at least, so even if you don't think I'd put the ship itself in, I will at least try to have them interact if you want.

The Form:

Ship:   
Reasoning:   
Other Options:   
Extra: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be deleted after I figure out how I wanna make the next chapter. I'm gonna hope I can figure this out before then, though!


End file.
